By Frank O'Donnell, WPRO Comedy Contributor
The Rhode Island Department of Transportation announced that it will institute tolls on the new Sakonnet River Bridge as early as this summer. There’s a bumper sticker waiting to happen: "Hey, DOT. Here's my toll. Now Sakonnet."
State officials say that the medical marijuana dispensaries about to open in Providence and Portsmouth will mean a boost in revenues for the state. Doritos dealers are also expecting a huge increase in sales.
The Department of Health announced a recall of Bumble Bee tuna products due to loose seals. Seriously, what do the mating habits of marine mammals have to do with me getting a tuna grinder at Subway?
The head of the Democratic Governors Association is encouraging Rhode Island Governor Lincoln Chafee to make the switch to his party. Chafee’s response: “Wait. I thought I already was a Democrat.”
After seeing all the TV ads, I’ve come to the conclusion that one of the side effects of Enbrel must be the inability to blink. Seriously, Phil Mickelson could not have been born like that.
The Transportation Safety Administration announced plans last week to allow pocket knives on planes. Amtrak is now expecting a huge uptick in ridership.
There is a protest afoot at the Vatican as the cardinals assemble to elect a new Pope. Blue jays and robins are now demanding a seat at the table.
Dennis Rodman returned from a visit with North Korea’s Kim Jong Un with a message for President Obama to call Kim, because Kim doesn’t “want to do war.” How did this guy get passed over for Secretary of State?
Frank has been performing and writing comedy since the early 1980s, earning his spot as one of Rhode Island's best known and most well respected comedians.